Sunday, September 11, 2011

Remembering 9-11

Lyricist for "The Hero" Amy Matthew

God Bless all who died and suffered loss that day, Sept 11, 2001. I pray for you all, and will continue for all time. This was a day that most people will never forget where they were, or what they were doing during the attacks. Many of us from a safe distance still could feel the horror that was happening to those that were so very close or directly in it. My heart goes out to those firemen and police that were in the buildings at the time trying to save lives, and lost theirs that day, and for the ones that made it out that hurt so badly losing so many friends and family. I also pray for the families that go on day to day year after year having lost someone either on one of the planes or in one of the buildings that were destroyed. I have tried to follow articles and such to see how all are doing as the years have gone on, and it seems most are doing well, thank goodness, if not they have been able to conceal that well from the public. In either event, God bless you for your courage and strength. The terrorist perhaps thought they could break the human spirit, but the complete opposite occurred. The American people stood up against these attacks with honor and courage, and continue to do so. That we will never forget what happened and that we will stand guard as a stronger nation from those very attacks. It didn't weaken us, it gave the American people a bond that cannot be broken. We now know that no matter what happens in our future we can move forward, together hand in hand.

I will tell you my story of 911 which I haven't yet done on my blog. It is by far not nearly as intense as for the people that were inside the twin tower area in NY city that day... but perhaps it may touch someones heart.

It all starts when I was just seventeen. I had a very strong dream in color that if I ever were to get on an airplane something bad would happen. At that age I thought for sure it would involve me in a crash or something..... but I wouldn't know for another 31 years the answer to that. So for many years family and friends tried to get me to fly, even buying tickets for me and at the last minute me refusing to go. I fought this for many years, being ridiculed and laughed at, but for me it was a major fear, for I had believed my dream. So I missed many trips and family lost money on me when I wouldn't go.

In 2001 my mother approached me, asking me to go with her to her 50th high school reunion, which would take place Sept 7th and 8th. One night a dinner, and the next a dance and gathering. My mother had COPD and I knew she perhaps wouldn't make it to another reunion after her 50th that would have as much importance, so I told her I would go with her. She had asked me a couple months in advance and would call me on a regular basis to make sure I wasn't changing my mind.. I would assure her I wasn't ( although each time I thought of it I would shiver).

One week prior to our leaving, I had another dream that seemed to be related to my flying. It was very vivid and in color and very upsetting. In my dream I saw myself sitting on the left side of a plane about half way back, it had three seats on one side and two on the other. All of a sudden there was a huge fireball that started at the front of the plane and came through and melted people and everything in its path. Meanwhile I also was looking out the window and a large black line was across a field. The dream was much more involved but those were the impressionable parts I remembered most. I had no idea what this dream really meant but I was in someway sure it had to do with this trip I was about to take. I called my mother and told her I had a very disturbing dream. She asked me if we were going to die, I replied I don't think so but I think something very bad is going to happen when we flew. She said ohhh as she always did and said again that my chances of dying in a plane were far less than me dying in a car.

We took off out of Tallahassee Florida on Wednesday Sept 5th 2001 and had a stop over in Ohio before getting to Buffalo Ny which would be by late noon. Flying into Ohio I felt something strange come over me but set myself at ease or tried, I was so anxious to just get to Ny. We made it to Buffalo on schedule and was greeted by my mothers sister and her husband at the airport. We would spend our next days with them and also visiting other family members during our stay. My mothers reunion was lovely and such nice people she had gone to school with were there. My mother was 67 and it was really surprising how many were still living at the reunion, we both enjoyed it very much. The whole trip seemed to go by so quickly and it was soon to be the day we would return home.

It was the morning September 11 2001 the day we were to return home. I woke rather early to gather my things and be ready in a few hours to board another plane. My Uncle loaded our luggage into the car, while we finished checking the house for belongings. My Aunt and Uncle arranged for some of my cousins to meet at a restaurant nearby where they lived to have an early breakfast and a farewell meeting. It was great to see them all and was very glad I had made the trip. My Aunt had forgot something at her home so we took the short trip back there before heading to the airport. Mom and also myself had to use the restroom so we all piled out of the car. During this time my Aunt had received a call from one of my cousins who worked for Niagara Falls and he instructed my Aunt to turn the tv on and to also not take us to the airport, something very bad had happened in the city.

My Aunt yelled to us to turn the tv on and as we all filtered into the living room the second plane was seen hitting the second tower. As it did I heard those words again strongly in my head, a man stated on the television, "Look at the huge fireball" the words that rang so loudly in my dream. As the day went on I would see other things I had seen in my dream several days before we had left on the trip. My knees buckled and I fell back on the sofa saying to my mother, see I told you so. I began to wonder why I even had had that dream in the first place, what good could I have done to help any of those innocent people that were killed and or hurt that day. For many months I felt guilt not having been able help.. or to have been able to prevent this tragedy. I questioned why I was given so little information.. and as time went on I had to learn to forgive myself because it was eating me away. I had to look at what had happened as others had..and not at my dream, that it was an evil attack on American soil that was meant to bring us to our knees, however no matter what those terrorist did that day, we weren't going to bend. That if we momentarily fell we would stand taller as we stood. That America is the home of the free and the brave and we would show the world that.

Thank for reading my story, although it was of little importance it still took courage for me to write it here on the blog. This story is also dedicated to my mother who died last year on June 12th 2010 of COPD, although I wish she could have been sitting here with me this day. When we got home that year of the attack she made me an album of our flight up and back containing our tickets and photos of family and the union.

There was more that happened on that trip but enough said... God bless all tc be happy and safe!

1 comment:

  1. walking here with a smile. take care.. have a nice day ~ =D

    Regards, (A Growing Teenager Diary) ..