Okay, I suppose for sure you feel I fell off the earth or forgot how to write ( not that I have ever truly known), or worse yet forgot you my friends. Some of it is far from the truth, the ability to write...mostly true.
I have come to grips with 2010 for the most part, it was a very trying year for me. I had to remember that how we feel about something for the most part is how life will be lived. If we feel sad or overwhelmed that is what life will be like everyday, twenty four seven. For me over all that has not been the way I have lead my life, drowning in sorrow, rather I have always tried to find the good in very bad thing that has happened around me and to me in my life. However the loss of my mother threw a temporary road block in my way, one that seemed as tall and as wide as the universe. One that would take me a while to get through. Yes time has a way of healing but it was up to me to use that time wisely, which for sometime I had lost my way. This month was probably another plateau I had to reach for it was my mothers birth month and the first without her. That was hard to deal with in itself, but adding to it was finding out on the same day that a very dear friend in Second Life had passed away, Sabrinna Nightfire who at 51 died of cancer. She had died the night before on March 6th 2011. She was a giver to SL and a friend to so many people. She will be truly missed.
I now embrace the fact they are gone, ones I have loved so dearly either as family or friends, and carry with me their wonderful uniqueness in fond memories.
That If I believe we go on and which I do, then they are in a good place and I will see them again. This is what I hold on to day and night, and so I go on till my time will come.
I have always had my faith and it maybe hard to believe since I had grieved so badly for so very long, but I suppose that was a symptom of the human condition that we all share. Yes time helps us to understand that we don't have a choice in the fact we go on and really we have no choice but to except what comes. Believing in God and pray for understanding then eventually a gentle peace comes and allows healing and acceptance. If we don't believe then we just come to terms with the fact we die and are dead. So much evidence for me anyways says there is a loving God and that he has given me peace now to heal. Whether we have faith or not the time will come that we all will find out the truth!
Its very hard in a world that is changing with so much destruction with loss of life, pain and suffering, changes in the economy, loss of jobs, families being torn apart to believe that there is a place that one will go on to that is so beautiful and full of love, all I can say is that we must trust and have faith that it will be so. I feel the hardest thing for the human race to believe in is what we cannot see, but having been given the ability to have faith is what we must trust in more than we ever have during these troubled times. To give unconditional love to one another while we are here, to show compassion for our fellow man. That just might help change the world for the better.
God Bless,
Butterfly Laa
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